Trend Alert Fall 2013: Depression

Posted on: March 16, 2013

Staying In is the new Going Out, and Marc Jacobs, the creative director of fashion house Louis Vuitton, has famously proceeded to design a collection entirely comprised of Pjs and nightgowns and underwear and dressing gowns, with the occasional overcoat (this is meant for the cold season, after all).


Can you tell where Mr. Jacobs got his inspiration from? Yes, you guessed it! From the ever-so-trendy depressed people. The very same who did grunge before grunge was even a word (it is in fact something that spontaneously generates under the bed of a depressed person), and that now are ready to take over the fashion world again.

Look at her:


What is this if not your average depressed person, who spent days locked in her flat but finally had to creep out to buy chocolate milk and spinach? She is too thin. Her hair is greasy and although she did her make up in a last-ditch effort to look presentable, her complexion looks like death warmed over. She hasn’t bothered changing, has only thrown an overcoat over her sleeping things. The overcoat by the way is the result of a bored-out-of-her-mind Do It Herself project (she is apparently into sequins as much as I am into nail polish – as an aside: I love that coat, I might Do It Myself some day); her shoes are totally inappropriate (when you HAVE TO go out it is ALWAYS raining, plus if you need an overcoat you need sensible shoes), but she couldn’t be bothered to look for anything better. And there she is, dazed, staggering, on her way to the supermarket.

Finally, thanks to Mr. Jacobs, we are not going to be met with odd looks, halfway between pitying and slightly repulsed and even a bit panicky o O (Ohgodohgodohgod is she going to keel over??? I would have to help her! Better to distance myself. Shit – she is wobbling towards the milk aisle. I will have to do without the milk. Stupid woman). Quite the opposite! We are going to shine and be the target of the envious looks of fashionistas everywhere! Rabid bloggers will take pictures of us for their street style features! . o O (Look at her! How does she manage? So effortlessly chic! Does she put olive oil in her hair? Her complexion – rice powder, imported from Japan where it is hand-made by virgins under the full moon? What’s her dieting secret? And that coat – is it custom-made? And how does she make her nightgown so crinkly? I WISH I COULD BE LIKE HER!)

So, THANK YOU MARC JACOBS! WE LOVE YOU! (although we know that you will let us down, it always goes like this)

Oh by the way: I know I have a few depressed MALE readers. I’m sorry guys, but this doesn’t quite work for you, as Mr. Jacobs himself was so kind as to demonstrate:

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